Satpol PP - Operasi Pekat

Saat sebuah ORMAS menggiring laki-laki dan perempuan yang terjaring operasi PEKAT, aku ikut-ikutan berkerumun dan menitipkan daganganku sejenak. Ada 11 pasangan yang diringkuk. Salah satu hidung belang yang menunduk itu pernah kulihat. Oh, dialah yang seminggu lalu meraziaku karena berdagang gulali di trotoar. Aku melihat wajahnya lagi dan meresapi kepuasan yang ditimbulkannya.

Polisi - Polantas

“Cihuy!” seringai seorang polisi lalu lintas saat memergoki pengendara motor tanpa helm. Ia mendekati. Si pengendara langsung mengatakan, “Damai saja, Pak!” (sambil menyodorkan sebungkus rokok).
“Saya bukan perokok.”
Si pengendara gusar, “Arghhh…”

Wartawan-Wartawan Senior

“Bu, aku sedang dekat dengan seorang pria” ungkap anak gadis bupati kepada ibunya.
“Benarkah? Siapa bapaknya?”
“Wartawan senior Koran XY”
“Hah?! Sudah, putuskan saja. Bisa repot Bapakmu nanti, Nak!” ibunya memungkas waktu curhat sang gadis.

Tukang Jamu

“Boleh kan aku mengganti posisi Mbak?” pinta seorang ibu-ibu necis penuh harap.
Si Tukang Jamu tidak lekas menjawab. Ia menatap ibu-ibu tersebut aneh.
“Plok!” Si ibu-ibu menempelkan segepok uang pada tangannya. Ia melongo,
“Kenapa ibu ngelakuin ini?”
“Aku sedang dikejar Interpol!”
“Oh…” Si Tukang Jamu mengadukan alisnya sambil terus menghitung uang yang ada di genggaman.

PANCASILA

Sila satu, tidak tahu. Sila dua, sudah lupa. Sila tiga, apa ya?
Sila empat, aduh mempat. Terkahir sila lima, silakan berfikir lama.

Kebijakan

DIKARENAKAN ADA SUNATAN CUCU MENTERI MAKA JALAN YANG DILALUI ANGKUTAN UMUM SEMENTARA SELAMA DUA HARI DITUTUP. Begitu pengumuman yang meresahkan para sopir angkutan. Sementara penumpangnya yang rata-rata anak sekolah tertawa, “Asik… Sekolah libur!!!”
Tak ketinggalan ibu-ibupun merespon, “Alhamdulillah dua hari kedepan tidak ada anggaran ongkos anak!”

Menteri Reshuffle Menteri

“Terkait isu reshuffle, apa Bapak tidak khawatir?” interogasi seorang wartawan.
“Tidak…” jawab Sang Menteri merileks-kan intonasi suaranya. Dalam hati, ia gelisah mengingat-ingat tempat menyimpan kertas perjanjian pribadi yang ditandatangani Presiden.

Wakil Presiden

“Kenapa ya, setiap kebijakanku yang berhasil selalu diklaim oleh Presiden. Sedangkan yang gagalnya dievaluasi ditengah-tengah kamera” curahan hati Wapres kepada ikan kokinya yang berkedip-kedip.

Istana Presiden

“Disitu tempat kerjamu kelak, Nak…” ucap seorang gembel kepada anaknya yang autis. Si anak hanya melirik ibunya yang segera menimpuk do’a sang ayah, “Udah cepet cari lagi dus buat kasur kita malam ini!”

Presiden

“Maaf, Pak. Ada laporan banjir lagi dari Kecamatan Air Ria” kata laporan seorang kaki tangan Presiden.
“Kecamatan terpencilkah?”
“Iya.”
“Oh… Eh, gimana debut album lagu-lagu sosial saya? Berapa viewers-nya? Apakah citra saya melonjak lagi?” cerca Sang Presiden mengalihkan topik.
Si kaki tangan hanya menggaruk-garuk tangan sambil menunduk.

UUD 45

“Sayalah Rosul!” teriak seorang lelaki beruban kepada pemuda yang melintas didepan Poskamling.
“Hey, Pak! Jangan sembarangan kalau bicara!” ancam pemuda tersebut marah.
Dengan santai Si Uban menimpali, “Lihat pasal 28 tentang kebebasan berpendapat. Jadi menurut pendapat saya, sayalah Rosul! Hahaha… Hiks hiks hiks”
Si pemuda menggeleng, “Dasar aki-aki gila!”

Politik Uang

Salah satu calon Kepala Desa memanggil seorang pedagang ternama. Tepat di ruang tamu, ia menyodorkan kalkulator, “Tolong hitung income dan outcome saya di Pemilu nanti. Kira-kira bikin rugi atau laba?”

Anggota Dewan

“Setuju… Setuju... Setuju…” serang lelaki berdasi mengkomat-kamitkan kata itu sebelum sidang. Dalam ubun-ubunnya tampak mulut ketua fraksi dan DPR juga segerombol wartawan jika ia menggerutu,

“Tidak setuju…”. Seperti siding sebelumnya.

Why do you have a long live, Mom?

Why do you have a long live, Mom?

By: Dee Ann Rose

Harris was lying on the carpet. He wanted to relax after he did struggle in the bus to get his home. As the fasting month holidays approach, everyone wanted to start the fast in hometown likewise Harris. So he had to be ready in facing traffic jam, crowd, sultry, bad smell, etc.

“Phew!” He relieved when he finally arrived in his home then saw his wife, two daughters and mother. His mother was very old, about 95 years old. So her talking was not fluent anymore and she just sat on the carpet when her son came. For Harris they and his hometown were the shoulders of his pain. Proven, immediately his hunger and fatigue lost. Moreover the temperature in his village was cold and fresh as used to be.

Harris still lied on the carpet with his mother. They were watching television. As a habitual, at 3 P.M there were some infotainment programs. Unfortunately, his mother was one of its fans. So it made him boring and sleepy. Meanwhile his wife was cooking his favorite food. Just time she smiled,

“What food that you want, Dad?”

Harris responded to her with a sweet smile too,

“I miss your delicious fried chicken, honey.. “

He also heard his two daughters were commenting his gift with humorous sounds.

“As a chef master.. I think this cake is delicious enough, isn’t it?”

“Really? Give it to me. I want to know the taste.”

“What? But you’ve eaten it”

“Really? I forget.. hahaha ”

“Ouch!”

Suddenly his eyes looked a picture beside the television. Someone in the picture was the most missed in his life. He wanted to hug and kiss his little body. Yeah, he was his son; Jefrey, the one son that he ever had.

During his marriage he wanted to have a son. His heart was badly broken when his wife had miscarriage until twice and he knew their sex were men.

A neighbor ever told him sadly,

“I don’t know why it can happen. Perhaps they have a bad destiny. But, hum… May it’s just my damn thought. Hum… your mother has a long life… “

Harris cut it,

“So, what do you mean?”

“Ng… I... I just think that your sons’ ages were changed by your mom’s age. It’s possible if… “

Harris stopped it and left him. Actually his opinion had disturbed his mind. He confessed it. He knew his mother had a long life while his sons died quickly. But he couldn’t refuse the reality. He also didn’t know what should he do.

The last, exactly three years ago, a newborn baby came into his life. Harris was very happy. Even he often left his work to keep Jefrey. He wanted to spend his time to accompany the cute baby and see his growth. But one day when Jefrey was about 9 months years old, they were in a supermarket. Then he was reported that mom was brought to hospital. Sure, he and little Jefrey went by motorcycle to hospital as soon as possible. The tragic moment happened!

After arriving to the hospital, Harris got his son was silent and cold. Jefrey died because of coldness. He wept and shouted hysterically without paying attention to everyone who saw him.

“Why, Mom? Why do I lose him again?” Unconciously he murmured. He remembered his other sons before Jefrey, a neighbor’s talking, Jefrey and his mother’s long life.

“Astaghfirullaah…” his eyes opened.

“What’s your dream, dad? I see you panic… do you get a nightmare?” Harris’ wife lied beside him and gave some questions. But Harris didn’t answer, he sat and moved his neck to the right and left side. He seemed so worry,

“Where is mom? Where is she? Is she still alive?”

His wife sat to make calm,

“She is in the toilet, dad… don’t you worry, OK!”

Then,

“Mom… dad… grandma!” the older daughter was shouting. Harris and his wife were shocked and run to the sound source. Harris found his mother fainted. Immediately he lifted his mother and put her on the bed. He dried his mom’s wet body. Then he looked his wife and two daughters weft over their lovely grandmother.

“Is it her time to pass away?... Astaghfirullaah… what I’ve said?”

***

Suara Asa Dari Tanah Darma

Teruntuk ayahanda Presiden di istana khalifah

Apa kabar, ayah? Tak pernah kita berjumpa dan saling sapa. Namun aku mafhum, tugasmu memang menafkahiku dengan beberapa program dan kebijakan saja. Tapi setidaknya kita bisa berkomunikasi dari hati ke hati. Ya, melalui surat ini.

Perkenalkan anakmu, Yah. Aku berasal dari Desa Darma, Kabupaten Kuningan, Jawa Barat. Pasti ayah tahu, desaku itu subur dan kaya akan air. Tak heran jika Bapak Gubernur Hendrawan pun memperingati hari air se-dunia disana pada 14 Juni 2011 kemarin. Alhamdulillah, desaku bisa dikatakan subur makmur.

Aku sendiri hidup di tengah keluarga pedagang. Di sela-sela aktifitas kampus, aku sering membantu menjaga kios tekstil ibu. Kebetulan pasar kami tengah direhabilitasi. Maka kami menempati lahan milik salah satu orang terkemuka didesa. Sebelumnya kami menolak lokasi alternatif yang diusulkan pemerintah desa dengan alasan ‘kurang strategis’.

Karena penempatan pedagang belum diklasifikasikan, maka kiosku pun dikelilingi latar belakang pedagang yang beragam. Ada pedagang sembako, sandal, buah, daging, makanan, kapuk, dan penggiling kelapa.  Semuanya berbaur dengan berdempetan antara pedagang satu dengan yang lain. Lama-lama aku mulai akrab dengan dunia dagang dan pasar tradisional. Ternyata begitu pahit.

Rata-rata dari mereka mengucapkan, “Dagang sekarang sangat berbeda dengan dagang jaman dulu. Modal dan kebutuhan begitu menanjak, tetapi penghasilannya menurun. Betul-betul tidak seimbang.”

Menurut mereka, toko-toko besar dan modern menjadi pesaing berat. Sehingga pelangganpun tersedot kesana. Belum lagi jika ‘pasar baru’ itu selesai, mereka harus menebusnya dengan kisaran harga sampai Rp 19.000.000. Mereka kesulitan.

Maka betul kata ibuku,

“Pedagang zaman sekarang ujiannya setiap hari. Jadi harus pinter!”

Sayangnya, banyak diantara pedagang yang ‘kurang pinter’ (mungkin panik oleh banyaknya kebutuhan). Mereka terjerat oleh rentenir untuk menambah modal. Bukannya bertahan, malah banyak yang terjebak. Idealnya uang tersebut diolah sampai menghasilkan laba. Tetapi karena bunganya mekar menjadi bunga lagi, maka habislah dagangan mereka dengan sia-sia.

Aku mohon ayah menekan untuk ke-stabilan harga barang-barang pokok serta mempermudah pinjaman untuk usaha kecil menengah. Tak lupa ayah titahkan pengawasannya kepada pihak berwenang dengan baik.

Demikian surat dariku. Pada pena aku titipkan doa untukmu. Semoga ayah diberi kemudahan, petunjuk serta kesehatan lahir bathin sebagai imam bangsa.

Dian Rosdiana

Mahasiswi